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The acts of the expectant father often provide for some of the funniest birth stories. For the most part the wives will tell you that while it might seem funny now, at the time the husband almost didn’t survive the birth. Imagine a husband refusing to leave a winning poker hand or who wants to go visiting friends when the labor pains are only five minutes apart!
Read on. You’ll enjoy these birth stories and then be able to tell you husband what he better NOT do when the time comes for you to give birth.
- Now this story is only funny after the fact, but when I was first married my husband was a serious poker player. The night I went into labor he was at a bar playing in a tournament. My brother called him to tell him his son had been born, his response was, "I have three kings, and I’ll be there when I can." I was furious for quite some time but now we both laugh.
- I went into labor with my first child two weeks early so my husband never suspected that the birth of our daughter would interrupt his monthly poker game. He was hosting the game in our basement when I walked to the top of the stairs and called for him. He came up to check on me and I told him we needed to leave for the hospital. He informed me that he had a really great hand and would be back up as soon as it was over. He went back downstairs, won the pot, and told all of his friends they had to go - his baby was on the way.
- With my fourth child when my labor pains first started we were visiting some friends....and my husband wanted to drive out to his mom's house for a visit also after. I tried to tell him that my contractions were only 5 minutes apart...but he insisted I would be fine because all of my other labors were long. I told him we would go but only if I could drive...because we were headed out to no mans land....and if I needed to turn around I wanted to be able to. We got about 5 minutes down the road...and I turned that car around quicker than snot.....and he was like “oh my god what are you doing”....I was like "heading to the hospital to have this baby" Needless to say my daughter was born within a half an hour of being at the hospital. My husband was lucky that day...he almost had to do it himself. So when your wife tells you it's time you should always listen!
- A few funny things happened during the birth of my last child. They didn't seem so funny at the time, but now they do. My water had broken and I was having contractions that were pretty close together, so we drove to the hospital. We had to park in the parking garage, only to find that all the wheelchairs had been taken inside and put away for the night! My husband even ran to all the different floors of the parking garage and there were none anywhere. So I had to walk across this long skyway all the way to admissions, leaking amniotic fluid and having to stop when I had a contraction. Then, my labor was progressing too fast so they called in an Arab resident doctor to deliver my baby instead of my OB. He came in to tell me that there wasn't time for the epidural I wanted and to basically stop whining about it. I started to cry and he turned around and said in his cheerful accent, "Don't cry. Is happy occasion!" I almost got out of the bed and punched him! Then, after the baby was born and they were cleaning her off, my husband started to get woozy. He claims it was because of all the adrenaline and it was in the middle of the night and he hadn't eaten for a while. He had to sit with his head between his knees while the nurses brought him crackers and tried to get him not to pass out. I was the one that had just had a baby but everyone in the room was tending to my husband!
After these birth stories an expectant wife will have one of two reactions. She will smile with confidence knowing that her husband would never do such things. On the other hand, knowing her man, she may decide to issue a warning to her husband that only a pregnant wife can get away with, “don’t even think about pulling a stunt like these!”
Read these next birth stories.
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